January 2012
“That human existence should repeat itself, well and good, but that it should...”
– Stanisław Lem, Solaris
Laypeople get a bad rap. After all, they do know how to get laid, as opposed to specialists.
December 2011
Look over your shoulder for the paranoiac in you.
How the fuck did I get this lucky?
Divorce: love’s labour lost.
Because of a partly implemented metric system, British serial killers are even more gruesome than American ones.
Name your son Rubbert.
I have to go read.
The chill that spreads inside you when you think of the most boring person you ever met, and wonder if you are that to someone.
Jag tycker ändå inte synd om kungen. Jag tycker synd om människor som svälter, lever i misär, saknar möjligheter. Inte om kungligheter.
Goofy’s diabolical twin, Hoofy
Social media are exactly as intelligent as the people who populate them, or less.
I am pregnant with love.
Crying to Schubert, like a human.
My biblically validated weaker-sex status makes God look stupid.
My cuticles are anything but cute.
Sweden is mostly bread-based.
Every part that aches is the wrong part, and the right parts are all unused.
APRONCALYPSE
The euro is built on selling technicolor illusions of the power of participation to powerless nations — a capitalist tour de force.
More like mortGAG, amirite? (I’m finally renting again.)
November 2011
I’m surprised the Brits didn’t strike sooner. Or burn down the Palace of Westminster. Or squeak when they’re trampled on.
My mother is lonely in her imagined omniscience.
Tide of nausea.
What is.
Train attendant asked me if I’m wearing a Sonia Rykiel dress, but this is coach, so I’m sure she can tell it’s H&M. Great training, though.
OK, so I’m a bit late for work, but only about ten years.
Excuse the profanities, said the holy fuck.
I’d do mind-altering drugs if they weren’t so predictable.
Diner coffee is both an aphrodisiac and a diuretic.
“Mawwiage.” — Baby Jeebus
It does seem prudent.
The day I wear a romper is the day you have me committed or I’ll romp your brains out.
“How it feels to be the blood cancer and the mind leprosy and the leaking abscess on the world’s back? Feels fucking great!” – First World
Sleep is a bastard that makes me wait.
In England it’s still legal to name your child Rufus. I urge UNICEF to act.
Sucking the sap out of life’s wood.
I have made some bad orthographic choices, and I will regret them for the rest of my life.
Honk if you’re the missing link.
It’s when you get a roomie that roomy ends.
Anonymous asked: Everything?
“A black president got elected last time! That’s enough affirmative action for at least a hundred years!”
I just saved you from sex.
Let me just finish this sentence with a full stop, and you’re welcome to desecrate my entire corpus.
Aunt, calling from Finland:
– How have you been, little brother?
Dad:
– Been doing fine, what with the mild alcoholism and constipation.
“I just get so nervous around people.” — school shooters
HATA FRITIDSRESENÄRER